Six Months

And just like that, six months has come and gone.  

Dear Nolan,

You are absolutely the most adorable little boy ever! The way you have changed our lives in such a short amount of time is truly amazing.  We wake up each day blessed to know you are ours and we are yours.  We knew having a baby would make our lives better, but I don't think we were prepared for the amount of love we'd have for you.  Your daddy is completely smitten with you.  When you are asleep, he checks the monitor multiple times to look at you and he just smiles.  He's so proud of you already.  It melts my heart.

These last six months have been really tough as we learn what makes you you and as we learn to adapt into parents.  But the moment we look at you and you smile at us, all of the hard work becomes distant and we just fall even more in love with you.  Who knew it was possible to love you anymore, but each day that passes, it somehow grows.  

You are becoming so much fun! You are almost sitting up on your own, you have TWO bottom teeth that are simply adorable.  You have the cutest little giggle, but most of the time you are quiet and curious.  You love to cuddle and we hope that never changes.  You are a great sleeper for the most part and we thank you for that.  You have started sleeping on your tummy which is so cute.  

We have a little routine we do with you each night and you love it.  Hearing us say your prayer always makes you smile and then when I sing you "You are My Sunshine" and "Amazing Grace" you lock eyes with me.  It's the best.

We love you to the moon and back, sugar bear. 

Here are a few pictures, okay a lot, from your 6 month session!

Motivation to care for the temple

Having a baby changes everything.  There isn't a part of my life that hasn't been affected by having Nolan.  All for the better of course.

However, having a baby completely changes a woman's body inside and out.  

Please understand that every stretch mark is so completely worth it and I am sure after I have all of my babies there will be plenty more.  And that's okay.  It is okay to have stretch marks.  It is okay for your stomach to not be flat ever again.  No matter how hard you work out or how healthy you eat.

I have found myself to get very frustrated with my body five months post baby.  I am tired of always thinking, "what hides my stomach the most" when looking through my closet for something to wear.

Perhaps it is due to the trend of posting "selfies" on social media.  Especially before and after photos photos of people after a workout.  I get it, we like to share our victories with each other and get excited when we finally lose the jelly roll or finally get the arms we've always wanted.  It's exciting.  And then come the comments all about how great they look and can't believe how awesome they look after just having a baby and etc.  But, people like me quickly start comparing and think about how hard we have been working, but the jelly roll just won't budge.  Or also like me, think it isn't fair when people look like they haven't had a baby one week later.  Jealousy is a demon of mine. 

I had read an Instagram post a few weeks ago that really spoke to me and I try and remember it when I start to get frustrated...

"My waistline is not the same as it was before six kids (or however many).  And I'm learning to let the freedom of that not affecting my contentment be the motivation to care for the temple, and not be enslaved by it...a vessel THROUGH which, not TO which, we worship.  And sometimes, that means that we need pics of less than perfect mamas, cuz it's okay if mamas wear big smiles and look like they've had kids."

So mamas, let's not forget that our bodies are temples that miraculously carry babies and that it's OKAY if it is always evident that we carried them.  Whether it was a few months or even a few years ago.
There is a difference between striving for health and striving for a body that doesn't look like it birthed children.